Carers Week 2025 - Beulah and Gordon's Story

Gordon has been living in a residential home for the past 13 weeks. Before that, his wife Beulah cared for him at home for around two years. While she never hesitated to support him, she reflects on how challenging it became, especially towards the end. “It was hard work. I was so exhausted, getting up in the night, trying to manage everything. I was absolutely knackered,” she says.

Gordon & Beulah

Gordon has Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia. A former police inspector, he retired at 57 and will be 86 this November. “It’s sad,” Beulah reflects, “because you think about all the responsibility he once had. He helped to set up the child protection team in Paignton and Torquay. It’s upsetting when you really think about it.”

Despite the challenges, they kept up small routines. “We used to go out every morning in the car and get a coffee – just something to keep a bit of normality.” Gordon also attended two different Filo groups, which he enjoyed. “It gave me at least two days to get things done, like shopping or getting my hair done.”

Gordon has always enjoyed puzzles and quizzes, and that hasn’t changed. He still finds joy in these small moments of focus and activity.

Beulah also received support through Filo Family Support. “They would just listen, which is something I really missed. You don’t always have someone to talk to. The family would phone, but they weren’t actually there to take the pressure off.” She speaks honestly about how isolating it can be to care for someone you love.

Though it was a difficult decision, Beulah feels reassured by the care Gordon now receives. “The home has been really good at keeping me up to date, which makes such a difference.”

Her advice to others who are supporting a loved one with dementia? “It’s so important that they have the same person looking after them – someone who really knows them. That familiarity makes all the difference.”